Lost In Loveland Lust
by A Wolf's Nightmare
Summary: Or is it a frog?
1. Catching Frogs and Lizards

Claudette and Saul were playing in the grass of the valley. They were having a great time. That is for now….

Kate, Humphrey, and Hutch came into the valley to look for their kids. They saw them playing and went to them.

"Guys… guys…" Humphrey said trying to get their attention. The two teens got scared and Claudette fell on top of Saul.

They were now in an awkward position where Saul's nose was touching Claudette's and their chests were so close they could feel each other's heat. They quickly got off of each other and blushed.

"Claudette… Wayne needs you." Claudette looked at them and then looked at Saul. She was confused.

She started to walk towards where the TARDIS was, in the forest, and she was thinking to herself why her? Her parents and Hutch were the best candidates for doing something strange.

Hell, even Brian was there to help now. Why did he need her exactly? She thought to herself and she pondered and pondered. This was until she ran into, literally, into the TARDIS.

She fell on her butt and shook her head in a daze. Wayne got out of the time machine and saw her. He then greeted her.

"Oh, Claudette! Welcome, welcome… come inside. Please…" He pulled on her foreleg and dragged her inside.

"I need your help." Wayne said as he pushed some buttons. Claudette came out of her daze and asked a question.

"What am I doing here? Aren't my parents the ones you turn to when shit hits the fan?"

"You think that but no…. I like to spice it up with different people. Help them get the best of life."

Then we hear a toilet flush and a wolf come out of what seems like a bathroom. It was Brian.

"Your bathroom is amazing!" He exclaimed.

"Yeah, yeah, you say that all the time. Now Claudette…" He looked down at her with a mad look in his eyes.

"Have you heard of the place called Loveland?"

"No…"

"Well you're in for a surprise." He hit a knob and the TARDIS was now in motion.

Everyone held on as this happened. Claudette spoke up and asked the only question she'll ever need to ask.

"Why are we going to Loveland?"

Wayne looked at her, still mad and said the line she didn't expect to hear.

"We're catching frogs and lizards!" Claudette tilted her head in confusion and whimpered a bit.


	2. I'll Rock Your World

"Why would I want to do that?" Claudette asked as she held on to a pole.

"This isn't your normal frogs and lizards… it's the Loveland Lizard…"

"What's… that?"

The TARDIS stopped and everyone followed Wayne. "Technically, it's the Loveland Frog… or is it lizard? It could be both…."

"Just like me!" Brian shouted.

"Anyway, we're helping this little town by getting rid of it."

"What's so bad about it now?"

Everyone went outside and they saw the quaint little town of Loveland. It was a quiet town in Ohio where nothing bad ever happened.

The first thing they saw were people leaving the area and scratch marks on the welcome to… sign.

Wayne looked around and saw a police officer talking to another officer. He decided to go up to them.

"Hello, officers."

"Ah, if it isn't the greatest police officer ever. Come here Wayne!" The officer grabbed him and gave him a noogie.

"Thanks, thanks. Listen where is city hall? I plan to crack this case wide open."

"Over there." He pointed to where it was. "Just past Mr. Heaney's farm."

"Alright thanks."

"So what's going on here? Why is everyone leaving?"

"It's the myth of the Loveland Frog… or is it lizard? Ah, well. It talks about a beast that walks on two and is in the shape of a frog and man."

"Or the shape of a lizard." Brian added.

"That too. It stalks these here Ohio fields just to stalk and hunt…. Or so the myth goes…"

The gang walked to the city hall to find out what was going on. They made it there in less than 5 minutes and went in. they saw the mayor and two men.

One looked like a farmer due to his clothes and the other was a police officer. They went in and the mayor greeted them.

"Ah, Wayne… so glad you can make it. And this must be your daughter."

He tipped his hat at her and she blushed. "Oh, no, she's my friend's daughter."

"Then this fine gentleman has to be your… *Laughs* "Suitor"."

Claudette chuckled and then burst out laughing as Brian looked at Wayne in the dirtiest of ways. Wayne looked down and then it hit him at what the mayor meant.

"Oh, God, no! No!" Wayne said as he shook his head. Brian put his foreleg over Wayne's shoulder.

"Admit it… I will….*Whispers in ear* rock your world…"

Wayne pushed him away as others were laughing. "Can we just get to the topic at hand?"

"All right." The mayor settled down. "For the two that don't know, I'm Mayor Dell and this is Mr. Heaney and Officer X."

The two waved at the rest.


	3. Or is it a Frog?

"As you all know, there's a lizard man walking around and scaring the townsfolk. We need your help."

"I've seen it too many times, spooking my cattle, making their milk sour." Mr. Heaney said depressed.

"I tried shooting it, but it was too damn fast." Officer X said.

"We'll catch it mayor." Wayne said with confidence.

"Good! Officer X and Mr. Heaney will show you three where they saw the creature."

Dusk was falling on the old town as the five individuals made it to the site where they saw the creature.

The group of three wolves saw a road with a pathway on each side. It let pedestrians go back and forth through this busy street. They walked on that path and then the two humans stopped.

"This is where we saw it…" They trembled as the three looked at it.

The metal bars that kept the path away from the forest were broken and there was green slime that was on the broken bars. Wayne and Claudette stepped up and examined the bars.

Claudette scanned it with her vortex manipulator and Wayne scanned it with his sonic screwdriver. They both looked at their electronics and saw that they beeped green.

"It's defiantly a frog man… or is it a lizard?" Wayne asked.

"I think it was here today…" Claudette said. "My vortex says that this green goo was made fresh today."

"So it can still be here?" Brian asked.

"Probably…"

Brian whimpered behind the two humans and the two looked at each other in fear. Then a noise was heard. They all turned and Claudette, knowing how to use a vortex, turned the lights on.

The lights of the vortex burned bright at the sight on the noise. They cowered as walked back in fear as the noise grew louder and louder. They went into attack positions and Officer X drew out his gun.

Suddenly the object leapt out of the bushes and over the metal bar. They shrieked and found out the creature was nothing but a run of the mill frog.

They sighed in relief. "At least it's not…" Brian started but didn't finish as a long and slimy tongue came from behind the frog and snatched it up.

Claudette shied her vortex at the thing that grabbed the frog and saw it was the beast that everyone was afraid of. The Loveland Frog/Lizard.

The gang didn't say anything until Wayne whispered.

"I think it's attracted to movement. Don't move…"

They didn't move and the lizard thing beast stood there looking at them. Then they heard a sound coming from behind them.

"What's that noise? And what smells like asparagus?" Claudette whispered.

"I'm sorry… I got too scared and… well…" Brian said. The lizard man then growled as it started to chase them. They began chase.


	4. Or is it a lizard?

The gang was being chased through the town by the Lizard man… or was it a frog man? Either way it was still scary for them. They ran in different directions and lost each other.

The farmer and police officer were running to city hall, Brian was running left and Claudette was running right and Wayne tried to hide in the bushes.

The beast was chasing Claudette and her alone. She gave chase as the frogman ran towards her with speed. She then stopped at a dead end, a brick house.

She then turned and saw the creature lurking forward and creeping towards her. She screamed and shouted as it came closer. Then she remembered… she had a manipulator.

She set the watch to locate Wayne. When it did, she pressed the button and she vanished, leaving the lizard man in confusion. She dropped in the bushes where Wayne was hiding.

They looked at each other and smiled.

"My God… what are we going to do?!" Claudette shouted.

Wayne covered her mouth and shushed her. He popped out of the bush and looked around. No one was there. He motioned for her to follow.

They ran towards city hall where they were met with screaming. It was a distant scream that they barely heard.

"Do you hear that?" Claudette asked as he cleaned her ears.

Wayne shrugged and the screaming became louder and louder until suddenly someone collided with Wayne. He wobbled and the person screaming stopped and looked up.

It was Brian. "Guys! I'm glad to see you!" He hugged them.

"Ok we have to find that Loveland Lizard… or is it a frog? I could never tell…"

"Are you crazy!? I'm not going to get killed… I'm leaving." Brian said as he turned and looked behind him. The thing that he saw was the Loveland Lizard staring down at him.

Brian looked at it. Turned around and simply said this, "Well, we're fucked in the ass… which I don't mind being especially if they bring lube, but more importantly… AAAAHHHHHH!"

Brian screamed as he hid behind the two wolves. Wayne and Claudette pointed their devices at this creature until Wayne noticed something.

A line around the Loveland Lizard's neck. It was probably him or it just being dark but he wanted to end this. He went up to it and stood on his hind legs. He took the head off and there it was.

The legendary creature was no other than the mayor dressed up. Everyone was asking the same question… what?

"You fell for it!" The mayor laughed as he held his sides. Then we see Mr. Heaney and Officer X come out of the shadows and started to laugh with him.


	5. li rh rg z uilt?

The whole gang was confused. They didn't understand what was going on. They tried to ask, but they couldn't find the words.

"Let me explain…" Mayor Dell started. "The whole town grouped up and decided to prank you, just as a fun larf."

"W-w-w-w-…." Brian said as he couldn't find the words.

"You're not mad are you?"

Wayne just stood there in silence as Claudette was trying to find a bad word in her head to describe them. Brian just stood there with his mouth agape.

Wayne then left the scene. "Wayne, wait for us!" Claudette said as she grabbed Brian's tail and they left.

"Did you get it on camera?" Dell asked the two.

"You bet we did…" Officer X said excitedly as he showed them the tape. The three humans had a laugh.

What they didn't notice was the human lizard man that was creeping behind them. They laughed as the lizard man took its claw and jammed it in Officer X's chest taking out his heart.

The two remaining screamed as we cut to Wayne walking to the TARDIS. Claudette perked up her ears.

"Do you hear screaming?" She asked.

"Don't care… let's go…" Wayne grumbled as he opened the TARDIS doors and the three went inside.

"Last time I help a town… you know I shouldn't say that…. Last time I help _**this**_ town." Wayne emphasized the word "This".

"Let's go home…" Brian said as he went to the console and watched Wayne playing with the buttons.

The TARDIS de-materialized and they went off. We then hear a faint roar in the background as the screams of help died down.

Thus ends the tale of the Loveland Lizard…. Or is it a frog? Damn it! I should've googled it…. Let's see…. "Google: Is it Loveland Lizard or Loveland Frog?"

Google: "Both are applicable."

Narrator: "Finally, we got that mystery down…. Why are you still reading this? Go away…"

 _ **li rh rg z uilt?**_


End file.
